From Thread to Tangle - On Patterns That Lead Back to Yourself
- Luc
- Aug 28
- 3 min read
This article is a continuation of When the Roles Reverse.If you haven't read it yet, take a look there first to better understand the context.
Sometimes, we meet people who — without realizing it — show us something about ourselves. Not through words, but through their behaviors, reactions, or avoidance.
From Thread to Tangle: The Pattern That Began in My Twenties
From the age of twenty onward, a recurrent pattern played out in my relationships with women: I withdrew.I didn’t know how to maturely end a relationship. Instead, I retreated into the shadows, convinced I’d find refuge there. “For the sake of peace,” I told myself. But in truth, it felt safer. Disappearing felt easier than facing the confrontation.
There was always someone walking away, always someone to blame. Sometimes it was me. Other times, I blamed someone else.
Only over time did I realize that, in this web of repeated roles, life was slowly leading me from thread to tangle - showing me the hidden pattern beneath the surface.
From Thread to Tangle: A Professional Mirror
Recently, an encounter with a colleague offered deeper insight. This wasn’t a romantic exchange—it was professional. Yet something inside me responded as though it already knew the script.
They didn’t show up. No message. No accountability.My reaction? A strange mix of anticipation and resignation—because I recognized the familiar sensation of waiting.
And in that moment, I realized: I had once been that person who didn’t show up. The person who didn’t respond.
Carl Jung wrote:
“When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate.”(…meaning that the unresolved internal ends up manifesting as external events.)
This time, instead of just reacting—I looked within.
And I discovered two truths at once:
I did not want to stay in relationships half-heartedly—just to avoid being alone.
In the past, I had disappeared and blamed someone else for my absence—because that was easier than owning my responsibility.
These are both true at the same time. Like superposition in quantum physics, it’s not contradiction—it’s maturity, the ability to hold opposing truths simultaneously.
Because awareness doesn’t necessarily solve things—but it stops you from repeating them unconsciously.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”— C.G. Jung
From Thread to Tangle: A Reflection to End With
When was the last time I reacted in a way I’ve done before?
Am I truly hurt—or am I repeating an old script?
What roles do I unconsciously play in relationships—and am I mirroring that to those I judge?
Maybe the journey from thread to tangle is not about being better.
Maybe it’s about seeing more fully.
And, when needed, stepping out of the role instead of acting it for a lifetime.
Do You Want to Work More Deeply on Yourself?
If you see your own patterns in this post and feel it’s time to stop replaying the same roles, I invite you to explore my Human Coaching Program.
Contact me to discover how I can walk alongside you in bringing awareness and creating new patterns in your relationships.
Disclaimer
This blog and all content within is my intellectual property. I do not give permission to copy or distribute without proper source attribution.I am not a doctor or therapist - my writings and Human Coaching do not replace medical or psychological help. They are reflective, developmental, and educational in nature.
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